He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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