So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
