All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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