Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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