The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
