I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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