Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
