was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
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