I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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