Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
there is glitter all over my balls
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