yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize