I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
