get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
