Where are you?
In a non slutty way
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
