I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize