You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
