Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
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