Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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