I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
