i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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