I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize