Where did you get a picture of my penis
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
