i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
