I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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