We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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