? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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