do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
