Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
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