You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
