The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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