Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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