You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
