...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
