Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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