So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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