i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
