I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
