I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
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