Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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