Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
