I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
