BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
