Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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