big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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