Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
