yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
