you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
