My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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