2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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