but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
