why didn't you poke me back
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
