yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
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he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
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The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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