She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
