Yo dont text me then not text me
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
