arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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