I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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