I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
