thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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