We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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