I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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