If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
