is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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