Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
