She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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