First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
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my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
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nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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